Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
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