My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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