Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
