We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize