Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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