i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
