i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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