The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You were trust falling into bushes
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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