Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
