You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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