so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize