So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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