i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
