i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
