drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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