Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
