I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
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Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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