so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize