Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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