I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
