i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize