I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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