Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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