i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
