Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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