I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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