I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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