I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
