MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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