Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
nutella sex= disaster
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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