I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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