I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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