I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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