90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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