Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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