; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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