well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
