i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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