I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
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Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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