I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
