you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My ass is underappreciated
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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