Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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