I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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