So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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