I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
