You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
