wrigley field is MILF paradise
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We're too hungover to prance.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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