I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
