So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
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Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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