eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And then the night went full on bisexual.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
