Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
