I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Someone shattered a urinal.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
