Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize