You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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