Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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